Neon Baccano Evangelion: Changes
by GunMetalSnail429
Summary: They told me once that a bullet to the head is a quick and painless way to die. Ya' know, humane. Well, they were wrong.
1. Epilogue

**_Neon Baccano Evangelion: Changes._**

**_Epilogue  
_**

* * *

They didn't know.

Hell, it had been a few months since I found out, and I still had to remind myself of it nearly every day.

To be fair, becoming immortal after having not been so for the first 16 years of your life isn't something you get used to overnight.

Is still remember when we discovered my little... *ahem*... Issue.

Asuka had been a little, well... Upset would be the most appropriate term, I think.

It's been thirty years, and I can still feel that slap...

_And that kiss..._

But, that's for later. Currently, I'm hunkered down beneath a flight of stairs as the Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force systematically murders everyone I know.

And they just found me.

_Shit..._

I push back against the wall as the JSSDF soldier puts the gun to my head and thumbs back the hammer. I hear the click and I clinch my eyes shut, pulling my legs to myself.

He speaks right before he pulls the trigger.

"Sorry kid... Nothing personal," I think it was.

_This is gonna su..._

There's a bang, and my head slams back into the wall behind me. I fall over, eyes wide open. I watch as he holsters his pistol and pulls the rifle from his back. He thumbs the safety off as a small hole appears in his forehead.

_She's late..._

I watch his body crumple to the ground and fall forward as his squad mates bring up their own weapons and prepare to fire.

They don't stand a chance. Not against that woman.

Misato leaps onto the first one, her knee catching him square in the jaw. He stumbles back as she shoots the other one point blank in the throat.

She turns to the last one and he brings up his rifle.

_Poor bastard..._

His kneecaps are quickly eliminated, his pained howl echoing down the corridor. His rifle clatters to the ground as he falls backwards, his knees bending at an unnatural angle, the shattered bones grinding against each other.

I watch Misato holster her own weapon before slowly walking over to the man. She reaches down and pulls his boot knife from its scabbard, casually running her thumb over the blade.

She climbs on top of him and kneels down, the knife clenched in her palm. She grabbs the man by the front of his tactical vest and pulls his face right up to hers. She turns her body just so, and I couldn't see his face.

She speaks, quietly, but I can still hear the words.

"Nothing personal."

Her arm jerks and the man's body spasms a few times before going limp. She drops him back down and stands up, adjusting her jacket as she turns to me. She walks over and places her hand on my shoulder.

"Shinji... Are you alright?," she asks as she gently shakes me.

I blink and sit up, my brains slowly following me.

They run down the wall and slide up my back, every drop of blood pulling themselves out of my clothes as the gray matter and chunks of skull fit back into place.

It was over in a matter of seconds and I reach around to feel at the back of my head. There's no hole, no blood. Only smooth, solid bone. The skin finishes knitting itself back together and I go to stand.

Misato takes me by the shoulder and helps me up, surprisingly calm for a woman who just killed three men and then watched her young charge's brains pack themselves back into his skull.

I absentmindedly rub at the back of my head, rolling my neck with an audible pop.

"I never figured immortality would be this painful," I speak after a few moments.

"Shinji, I thought you said you weren't really 'immortal'," Misato says, straightening my collar, "You said you were still going to die someday, but from old, _old_ age, not from any outside source."

I nod.

"Yeah yeah yeah... I know," I say as I reflexively rub the back of my skull again, "That still hurt like a sonofabitch, though."

Misato goes to reply when gunshots ring out behind us in a darker part of the hallway.

I flinch, but when I hear the screams and wet popping sounds, I relax.

"Kaji, I take it?," I ask Misato as she chuckles and pulls out her walkie-talkie.

"Hey, Ryoji. You okay over there?"

"Ayup. Just some stragglers from the upper level," comes the crackled response, "You got Shinji?"

"Yep. I'm taking him to the cages now. I think Asuka is getting a little lonely up there."

A chuckle, accompanied by a muted gurgling sound.

"Good. You two hurry up. I think I can handle the rest of these bastards."

Misato grins and motions for us to start walking.

"10-4, Kaji," she replies, "You... You be careful, alright?"

Silence. And then...

"Yes dear."

Misato smiles and puts her radio back in her pocket.

Which is when it crackles back to life, Asuka's voice coming over the wavelength.

"Hey! Misato! You there?," she yells, "You find the idiot yet? Not that I really _need_ his help, but Unit 02 is running low on power, and these white things are tough to kill."

I chuckle softly as Misato replies.

"Hang on, Asuka. I've got your husband. We're heading to Unit 01's hangar now. He'll see you shortly."

"What? He's not my hus..."

With that, Misato clicks off the radio and drops it in her jacket pocket. She then steps aside and gestures towards the elevator we've just come across.

"After you, Master Ikari."

I grin.

"Don't mind if I do."

* * *

**So... I've finally gotten back some inspiration and have started tweaking this story. I also gotten some more ideas and I think I'm going to shuffle through the original series to see how they can fit in to this story.**

**Yet again, don't expect any sort of consistent update schedule, but don't look for it to take several months for each new chapter. My primary focus is still "A Promise Made," so that will take up most of my time for the next few weeks potentially.  
**

**So. Here we go.  
**


	2. The Arrival

_Way back when..._

_Or so it seems..._

Coming to this city sucks.

It's hot, it's muggy, the friggin' telephones aren't working and, if you can believe it, there's a 200 foot tall monster traipsing around like it owns the place.

On top of all that, there's the flaming wreckage of the VTOL that just crashed down 20 feet to my left.

I think I lost an eyebrow...

I'm contemplating running when a blue Renault skids to a stop in front of me, just as the creature's foot slams down onto the aircraft.

The passenger door opens before the vehicle completely comes to a rest and a black haired woman motions for me to hop in.

I say "motions" because I'm fairly sure she says something, but I'm too preoccupied with watching as physics catches up with her chest and sends her... ahem... Assets bouncing.

_Damn._

Reality smacks me in the face as a large chunk of skyscraper lands behind me and I duck into the car. The seat belt is completely forgotten as she slams the shifter into first and pops the clutch.

My head whips back against the head rest as my lungs decide to take up residence on either side of my spine.

"Hi there. I'm Misato Katsuragi," she speaks once we're a good distance away from the crash site, "And you must be Shinji, am I right?"

_Hey, idiot... She's talking to you..._

"Ohh.. Uh, yeah," I reply as I shift in my seat, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Misato says as she lazily shifts into fifth, "So... I assume you got my message?"

I look at her for a moment, slightly confused.

_The picture, dumbass._

"Oh! Yeah, that," I say as I dig the item in question out of my bag and unfold it, "Here it is."

She takes a look at it and smirks.

"I trust you received the other stuff as well, then?"

"Yep. My I.D. Badge and transfer papers came with the photo. So... You work for NERV?"

"Uh huh. Sure do," she says, her eyes unreadable beneath her sunglasses, "And, so do you."

"That's cool."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, until Misato clears her throat.

"Wait... What?," I stammer out, not entirely sure I heard her right, "I work for NERV? Since when? And how?"

Misato giggles. Well, it was more of a squeak, really. At least that's how I would learn to describe it as the days went by.

"Since you got those papers, silly," she speaks, taking the badge and transfer orders from me, "And as to the how, well, it certainly doesn't hurt that your dad is the Supreme Commander of NERV."

Right. I forgot about that.

"Mmmmkkk...," I say, the curiosity in my voice coming through loud and clear, "So, what exactly am I going to be doing at NERV?"

Misato flashes that infamous smile at me and takes off her sunglasses.

It's worth noting now that I am quite proud of myself for maintaining enough self control so as to not eye-fuck the hell out of Misato.

Seriously. The woman is magnificent. Everywhere that a curve should be, there is one. Every square inch of her is, well... Curvy.

Had I never met Asuka, I would have been more than willing to say that Misato was easily the most beautiful woman on the planet.

But, that comes later.

Misato pulls the car off of the road and rolls to a stop. She leans over me _(and, with certain parts of her anatomy __**on **__me__)_ and produces a pair of what I can only assume are military grade binoculars from the glove box.

She puts them up to her face and scans the countryside around us. I finally notice that the sounds of explosions have disappeared and I turn my head to look as well.

The monster was just cresting the large hill about three miles to our east. Misato adjusts herself in my lap and and lets out a quizzical sigh.

"What is..," I begin.

I then find my face buried deep within her ample bosom.

_Sweet._

"Crap! They're using an N2 mine!," she yells as she rolls over, shielding me with her body.

My first response was going to be 'What the hell is an N2 mine and wow you smell good.'

I emphasize "was going to be" because that was when the entire world went white.

As it was, it comes out sounding like "MwhathehellsaN2sandwoynfasag od."

After the car stops rolling, I realize that I haven't taken a breath in about two minutes, and my lungs were beginning to burn.

Misato apparently realizes this as well and releases me.

"You alright, kid?," she asks as I take several deep breaths, the smell of her perfume only making the blessed intake of oxygen that much better.

"Yeah.. I, uh.. I'm good."

I notice now that her breasts are hanging precariously over my face.

_All crew to battle stations! Dive! Dive! Dive!_

I manage to tear my eyes away just before she looks down at me.

"You think you can walk?," she asks as she removes herself from me and I realize that we are laying on the roof of the car.

"Yeah.. I think so."

I reach out and grab the door frame where the window used to be and pull, easily sliding out and onto the ground.

I stand up and dust myself off before leaning down and helping Misato shimmy her way out of the cabin. She stands beside me and surveys the damage.

"Dammit!," she yells as she runs her hand over the obliterated fender, "I still have 24 payments on this thing!"

"Bummer," I speak up, trying desperately not to stare at the woman's ass as she bends down to inspect the ruined vehicle, "Maybe it'll still run, though..."

She straightens up and gave me a wry look.

"Maybe so, but a fat lotta good it'll do us if it's on the roof."

I walk over and take a look of my own.

"Not all is lost," I say after a moment, "You see how it's resting on a hill of sorts?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, if I could find a metal pole, I think we could poss... Who are you calling?"

She looks up from her cellphone and gives me the signal to hold on.

"Yep. You got the coordinates? Good. We'll be waiting."

She flips the phone shut and deposits it back in her jacket. She sees the look on my face and starts to explain.

"That was headquarters. They're sending a VTOL to pick us up. It should be here shortly."

"Well then. I'm glad I don't get airsick," I chuckle.

Misato only stares at me.

_Smooth, Shinji. Real smooth._

( ) ( ) ( )

Ten minutes and a quick run through of the emergency landing procedures of the VTOL later, I find myself staring out at the massive scar in the earth where the N2 mine had detonated. The creature, now identified as an Angel for whatever reason, is still standing in the middle of the crater.

Its skin is melted and it's "face" is cracked, but that seems to be all the damage it had sustained.

While I sit staring out the window, something clicks in my head.

"Hey, does this creature have anything to do with me being shanghaied into NERV?"

Misato only looks at me and smiles.

_Shit._

( ) ( ) ( )

To say the Geofront was big would be... Well, it would be true. The place is enormous.

The gate that slides open to allow the VTOL to enter was easily large enough to fit a skyscraper, and when we enter the main open area of the Geofront, I see that that was exactly the reason why.

Several dozen buildings of varying sizes and shapes hang from the ceiling, suspended like stalactites from the roof above.

The pilot sits the aircraft down on a small helicopter pad and we disembark. We're met by a small electric cart running on a set of rails embedded in the concrete.

A woman a little shorter than me steps off and walks over to us.

"Welcome back, Major Katsuragi," she speaks before turning to me, "And you must be Shinji. My name is Maya Ibuki. I'm looking forward to working with you."

I offer her a small bow and extend my hand. She takes it and gives one good shake before turning back to Misato.

"So, I'm assuming you've told him why he's here?"

Misato grins sheepishly and rubs at the back of her neck.

"Welllll, actually... The thing is, ya see..."

"So that's a no then, I take it," Maya interrupts, a small grin on her face, "Ritsuko isn't going to be happy, you know..."

"Well, Ritsuko can just deal with it," Misato huffs in reply, "Besides, she can explain things a lot better than I can. Speaking of which, where is Ritsy? I thought she was going to meet us here."

"There was an unexpected problem with Unit 01's hydraulics," Maya replies, taking her seat in the cart, "She should be about finished, though. I anticipate she'll meet you in the cage."

Misato finally notices my raised hand.

"Yes, Shinji?"

"Ummm... What, exactly, are you guys talking about? Unit 01? The cage? What's going on?"

"Just get in the cart," Misato says as she sits down behind Maya, "All will be explained in due time."

_This isn't good. Run... RUN, YOU FOOL!_

I shrug and step into the cart, taking a seat beside Misato.

Have I mentioned how good she smells?

I have? Oh, good then.

Moving on...

( ) ( ) ( )

A short ride later, we pull up in front of a large steel door labeled "Project-E." We disembark and I watch as the cart takes off down the cavernous hallway, now driver-less.

Misato walks up to a small terminal mounted beside the door and swipes her card through.

A loud, angry beep is the only reply she receives.

I hear her mumble a swear...

_It was "fuck," by the way..._

… before she turns to Maya and commandeers her ID badge, the plastic card already hanging from the Lieutenant's hand.

"Badge not working again, Misato?," a new voice asks from behind us.

I spin and come face to face with a blue turtleneck and white lab coat and...

_More boobs. _

"Shut up, Ritsuko...," Misato grumbles as she folds her arms over her chest and looks away, "You know I just got here a few weeks ago. All my authorizations are still a little buggy."

"Whatever you say, Misato," the blond woman replies before looking to me, "So, you must be the famous Shinji Ikari. I trust Misato didn't ruin you already?"

I tilt my head and stare at her for a moment, the numerous implications of that last statement swirling around in my head.

Most of them are awesome.

I realize the three women are staring at me.

Well, two of them, actually. Misato has her head in her hand and is rubbing the bridge of her nose. She looks up at me.

"You alright, kid?"

_Hey, she's talking to you again. _

"Oh, y-yeah. I'm fine," I manage to get out, "Just a little distracted, is all."

"Mmm hmm."

The following silence was... Uncomfortable, to say the least.

Finally, Ritsuko has the good sense to clear her throat and motion for the door.

"Shall we continue?," she speaks as she swipes her badge, "Time is running low."

We all take an involuntary step back as the massive blast door lets out a loud hiss and a series of bangs before sliding smoothly up into the ceiling.

Judging by the copious amount of echoes that surround us, I assume we're entering a very, very large room. The illusion completes itslef when Ritsuko flicks a switch and the door abruptly slams shut.

The darkness overtakes us so quickly it was like a physical strike. I stumble forward, flailing my arms to try and keep balance.

Luckily for me, there is a very well padded wall directly in front of me. I firmly plant my hands and squeeze.

"Shinji, I like you. You seem like a cool guy, but the fact of the matter is, we just met."

_Oh. Oh shit._

"Oh God, Misato... I'm so sorry...," I stammer out as I retract my hand.

There's a soft giggle from somewhere else in the darkness and I swear I can hear Ritsuko snort.

"That's not funny you guys," Misato mumbles before quickly changing the subject, "Say, isn't there something we're supposed to be doing here?"

There comes the clacking of feet on metal floor as Ritsuko walks over to something and flicks a series of switches.

And then there was light.

I blink a few times and stare at the purple wall directly in front of me.

_Wait..._

I take a few steps back and quickly realize that it was, in fact, not a wall at all.

It's a face. A big, purple face.

"Is... Is that..."

Misato walks up and claps me on the back.

"Yep. It's a giant robot," she says, "Pretty cool, huh?"

_HELL YEAH IT IS!_

"Yeah."

Ritsuko walks up and tosses me a pair of small, white hair clips.

"You wanna know something even cooler?," Misato continues, taking her place beside the blond doctor, "You get to pilot it."

_Fuck yes._

"Wait... What?"

( ) ( ) ( )

Damn my father.

He knew I was going to pilot. He _knew _it.

He knew even before he had them wheel out that cart with that girl on it.

He paraded her in front of me. Her and and those... Those...

_Boobs_

…Those bandages covering half her face.

Hence, why I am now sitting at the controls of a 200' foot tall mech.

"Hey Misato?," I ask as I adjust myself in the thing they call the Entry Plug, "How... How's that girl doing? Is she going to be okay?"

A giggle.

"Who? Rei?," Misato replies, her voice thick with amusement, "Why do you ask? You see something you like?"

_Well, yes actually..._

"I.. No... I uhhh.. She just looked really banged up is all..."

Another giggle, accompanied by a smacking sound as Ritsuko whispers something about potential genetic similarities and crossing some bridge when we get to it.

"She'll be fine, Shinji...," Ritsuko says, "We've got the best doctors on the planet working here. Right now, you need to be more concerned about the LCL."

"The what?"

In lieu of a reply, there comes the sound of vents sliding open. This is accompanied by the sound of rushing water.

"Hey... Hey! What the hell is this?," I yell, pulling myself out of the chair and banging on the metal walls, "You never said anything about water!"

"Calm down, Shinji...," Ritsuko speak, "It's not water. It's LCL. You'll be able to breathe it."

"What? How can I bre...glurghhhh!"

The LCL covers my head, rushing into my mouth and nostrils. I try to resist, to hold my breath as long as possible, but I'm forced to give in.

I let out a chest full of air and inhale the liquid, my lungs bucking and spasming as they fight to reject the LCL.

There's a slight tingle and the liquid clears, my lungs relaxing. I take a few experimental breaths and find the sensation not unlike breathing with a fat chick on my chest.

Ummmm... Actually, ignore that last part...

"How ya doin' kid?," Misato's voice says in my ear.

_Fan-fucking-tastic._

"I'm fine, I guess...," I reply back, "My clothes are ruined, this crap tastes and smells like blood, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna vomit, but other than that, I can't complain."

"You'll get used to it," Misato replies as Ritsuko yells some techno babble in the background, "We would have had you a Plugsuit, but we didn't have your exact measurements. We'll have you one for the next time, though."

"Oh. Well that makes sen..."

_Hold it..._

"Wait... What do you mean 'Next time'? There are more like that thing up there?"

I wait for a few seconds before Misato clears her throat.

"Uhhh... Yeah... I kinda forgot to mention that...," she says.

I hear Ritsuko whisper something before Misato yells at her to, and I quote, "Shut the hell up."

"It doesn't matter, Shinji," Ritsuko speaks up, her voice aggravated, "Like we said before, we'll explain more when you get back."

"You seem pretty confident I'm going to kill this thing...," I deadpan.

"Yeah, well you don't really have a choice," she replies, "It's either that, or the end of all life as we know it."

_Friggin' peachy..._

"Oh, well when you put it that way..."

Misato giggles again, and Ritsuko whispers for her to shut up before turning her attention back to me.

"Alright Shinji, we're about to launch you," she says as a series of bumps and clangs ring out in the entry plug, "We're going to run through the synchronization procedures now. You may feel a slight tingle..."

"Oh... Okay..." is as far as I get before the plug lights up, every color imaginable flooding across the metal walls.

There's a pull at the nape of my neck, and I go to rub at it when my world goes white.

"Stage 1 complete," I hear Ritsuko say, "Inserting plug... Now!"

The entire cockpit lurches and drops, sliding home with a loud bang.

The pull at my neck grows stronger, and I feel it gradually crawl over my entire skull.

I hear a small sound, like a whisper.

I close my eyes and focus my ears.

It's a woman, not Misato or Ritsuko, but a woman still. I can almost make out what she's saying...

It's such a familiar voice, but I can't place it.

It's like a mother whispering to her child, a sweet, gentle sound. I lean forward in the plug, trying to make out what she's saying.

It's almost like...

Like she's calling for me.

"Stage 2 complete," Ritsuko speaks again, her voice coming from every direction in the plug, "Commence Synchronization in 4...3...2..."

I feel myself stretching, arms and legs growing to impossible lengths. My head feels like it was inflating, my senses spreading to cover every square inch of the Eva.

And then...

"Stage 3 complete... Synchronization holding steady at..."

A pause, followed by a gasp.

"My God... Synchronization is at 55% and holding," Ritsuko spoke, the sound of a coffee mug shattering in the background, "Wow, Shinji... This is incredible."

"Damn...," Misato chimes in, "Asuka is going to _love _you..."

"Yeah, I bet she will," I reply, not really thinking.

_Hold up..._

"Hey, who's Asuka?"

"EVA... LAUNCH!," is the only reply I receive.

( ) ( ) ( )

First of all, I just want you to know that at no time in my life did I ever truly wish to become immortal.

I mean, sure... We've all said, at least once, that we wish we could live forever. It's a common aspiration shared by all of mankind at one point or another in time.

Young people wish they could stay young, old people wish they could be young again. Really, it's not so much about living forever as it is being young forever.

Well, lemme tell you... Looking like a 21 year old is fine.

When you're in your twenties.

It's been 30 years since the events of back then, and I still look like I'm fresh out of college. So does Asuka. So do Toji and Hikari and Kensuke and Rei.

We all hit the peak of our physical maturity...

_And good **God **did those girls peak..._

..And then we stopped. We stopped aging like normal people.

Sure, we're going to die one day, we know this. But, we're all convinced that it will happen a long, long, _long _time from now.

As in, we may live to see the next millennium. Hell, we may live to see the next several _millennia_.

Asuka even suggested we may live to see the heat death of the universe.

"..."

Wonderful.

All of that aside, it's actually pretty cool being immortal. I mean, I can stab myself with a knife and watch as it wriggles its way out of me, the cut disappearing almost instantly.

Asuka has tried this on me numerous times, as a matter of fact.

But, as I've said, all of that is for later.

At the moment, I'm crawling over multi-ton blocks of shattered steel and concrete. My Eva is laying behind me, the massive hole in its head still smoking.

For my first battle, I guess it went okay. I mean, I'm alive and the Angel is destroyed.

Sure, there's a massive hole in the roof of the Geofront and several city blocks are flattened, but this place seems like it doesn't have to worry too much about money.

_I better be getting paid for this shit..._

I straighten and take in my surroundings.

A wall crumbles about 50 feet from me, revealing a hallway of sorts. I slide down the boulder I'm standing on and jog over to the opening.

I step over a small ledge and straight into a puddle of water. I look around, the barely lit hallway stretching endlessly in both directions.

"Hello!," I yell, the echoes bouncing down the walls and disappearing.

_Creepy ass hallways: Check._

I stand still for a moment, listening for any sounds.

There comes the sound of clanking metal from my left and my decision is made.

_Creepy ass sounds in the creepy ass hallways: Double Check._

I head off, my shoes squeaking and my drenched clothes sticking to every surface. I take my shirt off and toss it away, the wet slap as it impacts the wall echoing down into the darkness.

I come at length to a sign warning me of potential "Organic Radiation" danger.

Whatever the hell that means.

I push on until I come to an intersection, the hallway branching off in opposite directions.

"Crap...," I mumble, rubbing the back of my head, "Hello?"

Yet again, I listen as my voice bounces back and forth into the distance, no sounds coming in reply.

I'm about to go left when a light turns on to my right, a dim, yellow glow.

_That isn't foreboding at all..._

I still don't know what convinced me to go after that light, I really don't.

Everything in me was screaming to run the other way, but noooooo. I just had to find out what that light was.

Had I known the events this seemingly innocent choice would set in motion, I can honestly say I would have gone the other way.

But, oh well.

I slowly start my way down the hall, the light slowly getting stronger.

As I get nearer, there comes to me the sounds of people, a man and a woman. They're singing, I think.

I cautiously creep forward, the voices getting stronger.

I turn a corner and come to a jail cell, a single, solitary jail cell in the middle of the hallway.

A single bare light bulb hangs from the ceiling, casting weird shadows on everything.

In the corner of the cell, a man and a woman are huddled together, singing some song I don't recognize. It's jazzy, and truthfully, a bit catchy. I find my foot tapping out the rhythm and will it to stop.

"Ummm... Hello?"

The singing stops and the couple turn to stare at me, the woman's blonde hair stretching all the way to the floor before coiling around itself.

"Who's there?," the man asks, his arm bracing the woman, "Who is that?"

He's speaking English, of which I had only a passing acquaintance.

"Ummm... Hello there," I reply, my English coming through like a hiccuping lawnmower, "My name is Shinji Ikari and I..."

"Ikari?," they both gasp.

"Yes..."

They whisper amongst themselves for a moment before turning back to me.

"Are you... His son?," the man asks, this time in perfect Japanese.

_Father..._

"Yes. My father is Gendo Ikari and..."

They're up against the bars in an instant, their faces pressing firmly against the steel.

I stagger back, my heart skipping several beats.

"So... It's time, eh? Those creatures have finally started attacking?"

"You mean the Angels?," I ask.

They nod as they seem to look me over, appraising me.

"It's about time," he continues, his eyes incredibly deep, "We've been waiting for this for 20 years. Ever since your father and those old men captured and confined us here, we've been looking forward to the day they would let us out. I mean, it's not like we're going to die anytime soon, what with being immortal and all..."

_Whoa whoa whoa. What?_

The woman elbows him hard in the ribs and he doubles over.

"You're not supposed to tell anybody about that!," she says harshly, her voice high and sweet.

He stands back up, straightening his shirt. I notice it's about 30 years out of date, an open vest with a pendant hanging around his neck. He's wearing bell bottoms and platform shoes.

The woman is dressed just as strangely, a pair of overalls with no shirt underneath and a floppy brimmed hat.

They bicker back and forth for a moment before remembering I'm there.

They turn to me and offer shaky grins.

"Sorry about that...," the man speaks, straightening up and sticking his hand through the bars.

"My name is Isaac. Isaac Dian, and this is Miria Harvent. It's nice to meet you, Shinji."

I have to say, talking to a pair of immortals is pretty interesting. Listening to the stories of someone who has been alive since the early 1900's can easily fill up several hours.

Unfortunately, I do not have several hours to fill.

Hell, I barely had time to get to know Isaac and Miria before I hear Misato calling for me.

"Shinji... We have to go," Isaac tells me as he and Miria begin scurrying away, opening a nearly invisible trap door in the floor of the cell, "Come back soon. We have much to discuss..."

"But how will I find you?," I call after them.

As they disappear beneath the floor, a hand sticks out and throws a roll of paper at me. I reach through the bars and grab it, the paper crinkling in my hands.

I unroll it and see the map, a hand-drawn but very detailed model of the lower levels of NERV HQ, one path in particular highlighted in red crayon.

I look closer and discover the start point is none other than...

_The hell?_

I flip the paper over and find a short message on the back, yet again scrawled in red crayon.

"Bring a jacket."

"Well that's just maddeningly cryptic..."

This is as far as I get before several men in black suits and sunglasses emerge from the darkness behind me, flashlights scanning the room.

I quickly fold the map up and tuck it into my pocket as a beam of light shines in my face.

"You!," a gruff voice sounds from the shadows, "You're not supposed to be here, kid! This is a restricted area, and I could have you arres..."

"You will do no such thing," Misato's voice sounds over the man, "This 'kid' just saved all our asses, and, on top of that, he is under my direct supervision. You will not lay a hand on him unless _I _say so, understood?"

I can practically hear the man's shoulders slump as he answers in the affirmative.

Misato walks over to me and sizes me up, her eyes scanning from top to bottom and back again.

Her eyebrow arches.

"Where's your shirt?"

I look down at my bare chest and back to her.

_It's on your bedroom floor._

"It was soaked with LCL and uncomfortable. So I threw it away."

She grins and sighs before rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Alright then," she speaks after a moment, "Come one. I've got to get you back to the bridge so Ritsuko can run some tests or something on you."

I frown.

"What uh... What kind of tests?"

Misato pulls out her cellphone and smiles at me.

"Ones with needles and such."

_Wonderful._

"Well, that sounds fun," I lie as I start walking towards Misato.

She turns on her heels and begins leading me out of the hallway, her shoes clicking on the tile. She's talking to Ritsuko, their conversation hushed and hurried.

I can catch bits and pieces of what they're saying, but not enough to put together a complete picture of the conversation.

_Yeah... He's fine._

_No, he was in Section ##..._

_Nope, no cuts or scrapes._

_What the hell does that mean? _

_Wait... Who are Isa..._

_Fine! I'll ask him..._

She stops at the massive hole in which I made my entrance and turns to me, her cellphone stuck to her ear.

"Hey, Shinji...," she asks, "Did you, uh... Meet anybody down here?"

I unconsciously rub at my pocket before I reply.

"Nope," I lie again, "It was just me and the creepy ass hallways."

Misato squints her eyes and purses her lips, examining me for a few moments.

"No, Ritsuko," she speaks at last, turning from me, "He was alone. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I'll take him right to you."

She flips her phone shut and steps over the small brick partition, smoothly stepping down to the ground below, her skirt pulling tight over her thighs for a brief moment.

_Well... The day's not a **complete **waste..._

I follow her and she leads us to a waiting Humvee, an amazing amount of construction equipment having appeared around the hole and Unit 01.

She opens the door to the vehicle and climbs in, motioning for me to follow her. I climb in beside her and pull the door shut, the seat surprisingly comfortable for a military issue cushion.

We were well on our way before Misato spoke.

"Alright, Shinji... After these tests, I want you to meet me in the cafeteria. I have something to discuss with you regarding your living quarters."

I look at her, slightly confused.

"What about my living quarters?"

She looks to me and grins.

"Oh... Nothing."

I eye her dangerously before her phone rings, a different ring tone than before. It is an ominous sounding thing, and vaguely familiar. I scrunch my eyes trying to recall the title as Misato flips open her phone and answers it.

"Hello, Commander Ikari."

_Father..._

"Yes, I have Shinji. No, we're going to see Dr. Akagi about... Yes, he was in Section ##, I don't understand what's so importan... Yes sir. I understand, Sir. I'll have him to you post-haste."

As she flips her phone closed, the title of her ringer finally hits me.

"Misato... Why is '_The Imperial March_' your ring tone for my father?"

She rubs the bridge of her nose and sighs.

"You'll find out soon enough."


End file.
